Hey guys! Hope you’re having a great week. Sorry about not having a post last week. It’s finals and move out over here at school, so I’m a little busier than normal. This month might also be a little spotty with posts because I’m getting married and there’s a lot of back and forth between where I live and where I’m getting married. We will get back on track as soon as possible and I look forward to keep going on this adventure with all of you!
Today we are analyzing “selfmedicate” by dontknowher! “Selfmedicate” was written and sung by Samantha Anderson. Samantha co-produced this song with her husband Branden Anderson and I have been extremely excited to share this song with all of you!
“Selfmedicate” is not the only music put out by Samantha. She previously released an album called Silver under the artist name Sammi. I highly recommend listening to Silver; it’s been one of my favorite albums since it came out!
Anyways, we’ve got a lot to tackle today, so let’s get into it!
Production
The production on this song is honestly really awesome. I can’t think of any other way to describe it; just plain old awesome. I had the unique oppurtunity to talk to dontknowher about some of the techniques they used in the production, which was such a fun, albeit short, conversation.
In this song, the lead vocals are very clear and pulled center. It let’s her voice float above everything else, which in the beginning is just the little bit of synth underneath.
Once the first part is over, the harmonies and the bass come in. Throughout the whole song, the harmonies have reverb, delay, and vocoder on them, which is one of the questions I got to ask Sammi. If you don’t know what vocoder is, just listen to Taylor Swift’s album “reputation;” specifically in the beginning song Delicate. All three of those give the harmonies a sort of watery quality to the sound. With the harmonies, we get an ambient bass line in the background. Something cool about the bass is that it pulses just a little bit, but that pulse gets passed left and right.
As the beat comes in, we hear this little pick up that kind of sounds like a “whoosh.” If you wanted to do that acoustically, you could use a cymbal and reverse the sound. However, this was probably done digitally and I’m going to be honest, I have no idea how to do that because I haven’t used the digital side of music as much. When that beat comes in, the bass gets a little stronger, which sounds like it’s because the pulses got pulled to the center.
I also love the stop between “don’t need my wings if you’re sorry” and “I’m sorry.” By this point in the song, you’re in a groove and you’re getting used to the way it sounds. The stop pulls you out of that groove and gives you something new to pay attention to. There’s a light beat that comes back in to ease you into the full beat. When that lighter beat comes in, she also adds some higher harmonies to fill out even more of the sound.
It puts you back into the groove and then takes you out again! Instead of the full blown chorus, we have a light chorus with a very sweet and pulled back violin solo. By pulling it to the “back of the room,” the line sounds far away compared to the rest of the sound. One of the reasons I love this violin line is because it’s so different from everything else in the song. It takes a more acoustic sound and blends it with digital or synth sounds. It’s very impressive because it can be incredibly difficult to do.
A very underrated part of this song is the sniffle after the chorus as it’s picking back up. You’re anticipating the beat to drop again and to be taken back into the groove, but instead she lets it hang and die down. That way the focus is on the sniffle, which adds so much to the story.
The beat comes back in with this cute little simple guitar solo and some pulled back vocals. These harmonies are so pretty and add so much to the overall sound. It keeps building as it leads into the last chorus, which is my favorite part of the song.
In the end of the song, you’ve got the chorus up front and center, but your harmonies are pulled back much further than before. This is to make room for a brand new line. At first, I will admit that I was disappointed that she put this line in the background because it was my favorite part of the SoundCloud version. However, the more I listened to where she put that portion of the song, the more I liked it. It’s like a little secret you get to discover. One cool part of this “hidden bridge” is that it’s panned back and forth throughout its duration. All of this together gives it more ambience because of all of the different parts working together.
Lyrics
This is a lyrically rich song and it has a lot of layers to unpack so let’s do it. Remember that art is subjective so my interpretations might not match yours.
Dontknowher wrote this song about a toxic relationship and the line “I’m in hell but I guess I’ll stay” is the epitome of how it feels. It’s just like “this probably isn’t how love should feel, but this is all I know so I guess I’ll just stick it out.” That’s the most literal line, but we get little clues throughout the chorus like: “you take my wings away,” “say ‘I love you’ As if you meant it,” and “the empty words you say help me self medicate.” We hear these a lot throughout the song as they are a part of the chorus.
Another line I love is “wearing your white lies like it’s holy.” It’s almost as if the person she’s talking to is clinging onto their lies like it’s their lifeline and they can’t let it go. One more line that I think will constantly get overlooked is “sour taste in my mouth since we started.” It just adds even more to the “don’t think this is right, but I’m sure it’ll go away and get better.”
We get to hear more of the chorus floating above and behind the guitar solo, but some of my favorite lyrics are in the “hidden bridge:”
“Uh oh got your head in the clouds, Got me wonderin’ how I feel right now, You poison me like a drug, Stumblin’ lies trying to be enough, Your ‘one and only’”
To boil it down into a couple sentences: Why is what I’m doing receiving so many mixed reactions? Why am I still trying to satisfy this “standard?” This can’t be good, but I’m still going to push through it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this is a great song that has a wonderful summer beat and vibe, but has absolutely devastating lyrics. It blends both acoustic and digital sounds wonderfully, is lyrically rich, and tells a story really subtly, which I love. It’s telling you exactly what it needs and wants to say, but in a way that can go unnoticed.
As always, leave suggestions for songs and albums! Make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow my Instagram account! Next week we’re diving into our first suggested song. I can’t wait to discuss it with all of you.
See you guys next week!